So, this week I am home Tues-Fri and off again Friday to see dad and I have been trying to “catch up” on everything as well as have some fun with my daughter along the way. Yesterday we made our first stepping stone for the garden and I caught up on my ironing (there always seems to be 87 dress shirts that my husband needs ironed for work!). Laundry, dishes, and weeding were also some of the highlights!  Right now she is at pre-school and I am obviously writing to you and after I pick her up I need to iron her dress (because I forgot to yesterday in the sea of shirts!) and we are off to a Tea Party with a friend of my husbands from work. Her grandkids are in town and so we got invited for a play date/tea party which my daughter has been talking about all week!  These are the fun things amongst all the craziness of errands and housework and just being a mom, wife, and woman!

Meanwhile when all this is going on I find out my son is getting two F’s in school and is not allowed to play baseball!  His dad, step-dad and I are just fit to be tied!  (again….still???) The keyboard has now left the building…..no computer of any kind until some improvement has been made.  The laughable thing is he is getting these in Art and PE, what is that all about?  I just had that feeling that I should get on line and take a peek at the new trimester which started two weeks ago or so… He is actually doing pretty good in the other classes, Math – C, Social Studies – C+, and in English the boy is actually getting an A so far!  He ended up so poorly at the end of the last trimester he was on probation for sports and now since he is getting two F’s he cannot play until those grades come up.  My ex had to call his mom and dad and say “Don’t bother to go to the baseball game as your grandson isn’t playing….”  That didn’t make him a happy camper!

And I have quite frankly had it with the whole attitude thing! When is this young man going to realize it just isn’t working for him?  That being the class clown isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!  sigh….

Well today is a new day and the sun is shining and soon we will be off to have tea with the little people in our lives, how much fun does that sound? Lovely!!  So, I guess with that in mind there will be time later to deal with the unpleasantness of bad grades and attitude and my dirty floors!

Keeping my chin up!

Grace

Share on Facebook

I spoke to my ex the other day and asked what his thoughts were on the situation and he like the rest of us is just tired of the same conversation. He just says well, maybe he will have to go to summer school……yes, maybe he will. I know that none of us can do the work for him and he just doesn’t seem to be doing anything he is supposed to be doing and it’s breaking my heart and driving me crazy at the same time!  I feel responsible and I know that really isn’t logical but…..sigh…..

He quit wrestling about a month into it, he said it just wasn’t for him and I can appreciate that but I was hoping it would keep him on top of his school work…..and it didn’t work. (bummer!) I quite honestly don’t know what to do….he is a bit old for me to go to school with him.  I know that it isn’t good for parents to bail their kids out of situations that the lesson is lost then and maybe he will have to go to summer school but what he doesn’t and  if he just barely squeaks by the eighth grade…..how can that be good?  Next year it all starts counting and if he has done so poorly up until now how can he possible do better if the concepts aren’t learned along the way?

He really has made his own bed, the teachers see him as a goof off and a trouble maker and I am sure are done trying to give him any extra help and I really can’t blame them.  It used to be different in school, kids misbehaved and they got sent to the principal and maybe got a hack and it was over,  a little public humiliation and that usually ensured no further upset in the classroom.  Now it’s all meaningless, it makes no impact and I can imagine the teacher’s frustration at not being able to handle a situation with a kid who is misbehaving.  For me, just seeing a paddle hanging up on the chalk board was motivation enough.  I had to wear gum on my nose once in the fourth grade for the whole afternoon which wasn’t fun……but I never chewed gum in class again!

My sons attitude is really bad, he just doesn’t care at all and that scares me.  He is just apathetic and on top of that feels he can treat people badly and it is OK.   His friends all seem the same as well, not bad kids really but just don’t like school, don’t care about school and don’t seem to care about any repercussions down the road.  I know kids aren’t thinking far ahead into the future, they live in the moment and what is in it for them at the moment and I am trying to get him to realize that the decisions he makes now might and can affect his future!  Am I just not getting it….??? Should I just shut my mouth and let him fail?

I was “Joe Student” in school and really liked it for the most part, there was parts that weren’t fun but generally I really liked school and I liked my teachers!  Maybe he will do the reverse of me and do crap in high school and better if he gets a chance to go to college…..( I can hope and pray anyway!)

I sound a bit like my parents when I say that I just don’t understand the kids of today…..I don’t want to lump them in a great huge heap or anything but from my own experience there are many who are just like my son.  They don’t care about anything and just want to play computer games or whatever and that is about it.

Well enough of my droning on, any thoughts would be most appreciated……

I’ll be back again soon with happier tales I am sure…..

Cheers!

“The Frustrated Mom”

Share on Facebook

Now, my son, he is 14 today and I am pleased to say we are all gathering together for the event as is our custom.  I get along quite well with my ex and his family and I am happy that we can share in our childrens’ lives peacefully and really have a pretty good time together.

The problem I am having is my son is  quite rude, moody,  and disrespectful just to name a few and I have tried lots of different things to figure him out.  Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments of being quite a likable human being but sometimes…….I just don’t know what to do!!!!!!  (when I feel like screaming!!!!)  There are times when I think he just doesn’t understand how to behave properly at all…….and then come the tears from me…..sigh!

He has a hard time keeping up with his grades unless his dad and I are on him fairly regularly.  His personality is very negative in that the first words out of his mouth as a toddler were….”no, no” and he hasn’t changed much since then. There are lots of times when we are trying to get him involved; doing fun things and he just isn’t interested and I don’t get it! I have encouraged him to go out for the wrestling team this year and he did!!! My hope is he will have a great time and enjoy it.  Every year since about the 5th grade he has done well in school until Christmas and then it falls apart.  I thought if he added a sport in the winter (he does football and baseball as well) then it might change it up enough that he’d stay on track with school ( I’ll let you know if it works!!)

He is really into gaming,  both on the internet and on the Xbox 360 (and yes they have both been taken away on numerous occasions!!)  I just wonder if it is just crappy parenting on our part or is it our changing society as well.  Believe me, I blame myself a lot for how he is, I know there are lots of things I could have  and should have done differently.  I know having divorced parents makes life difficult as well spending time in two households.

I spend a lot of time praying for him and my dh and I as well as my ex are constantly having conversation on this subject!  We wring our hands quite regularly in fact!  Like most parents out there we want good things for our kids and for them to kind and loving people that people enjoy being around…..I really hope this is just part of growing up for him that will pass with time (how’s that for avoiding that word “phase” )

So, my question(s) today are:  Are you out there struggling too?  If so, any solutions or breakthroughs?  Are you divorced and have some of the same challenges with your kids??

Thanks for listening…..I look forward to hearing from you!!

Grace

Share on Facebook