When I finally got to see the new doctor we had a plan, some tests on both of us and then we’d get to try again so, after 2 possibly 3 miscarriages we were finally pregnant again, my due date was Valentine’s Day, counting every day and week I made it through the first 12 weeks without a problem!!! Then I just kept track of the weeks and months as they passed,  it was just a very nervous ENTIRE 9 months!  It just was hard to relax and really enjoy the pregnancy.  Every odd pain and strain freaked me out but the doctor and his nurses were wonderful to me! (Except when he said I had to stop having Frosty’s at Wendy’s ! as I gained like 7 lbs in one month or something! I wasn’t eating Frosty’s…honest!!!)

I awoke on Valentine’s day,  and felt a bit funny but went to work anyway.  I had an appointment that day as it was my due date.  After calling they told me to come down early, feeling sure that what ever I was feeling would stop by the time I made the 35 mile trip to the doctor.  Armed with my clock and a note pad I drove my Suzuki Samari down to the Doctor’s office.  After the exam he said, “Well, its a early doors but by tomorrow you will be a mommy so I don’t want you to go home.”   So I made some calls and headed for the hospital via Bi-Mart where I stopped to pick up a comb and brush set for my new little one!

Checking into the hospital in the early afternoon, the doctor told them I was in early labor so to put me in a room and not to fuss too much as I probably wouldn’t deliver before the next day!  My parents arrived about 6PM and by then the pains were starting to get uncomfortable.  The nurses had for the most part left us alone but one strolled in about 9PM just to check in and see how I was doing……and she said “Oh my!, you are ready to deliver. we better get you moved!”
They moved me to a birthing room and I got to listen to my mom and my now ex-husband fight over what was going to be on the TV!!! (Thinking, hmmm, trying to have a baby here!!!)  I was then determined this little one was going to be born on Valentine’s day!!  My Mom and Dad left the room when I started to push and at about 11:37PM our daughter was born!!  My parents were lost in the hospital by this time, no one knew where they had gone and Daddy was holding our little one as I had had some complications delivering the placenta and had hemorrhaged again.  So, it wasn’t a wonderful bonding experience but I was happy she was healthy and perfect never mind what was happening to me!

They finally poured me into a wheel chair and moved me to a room, got a blood transfusion set up and brought the baby in.  Feeling totally wiped out they let me sleep a bit but still woke me up to feed her which was great!  I think by then my mom and dad were finally located and a bit frantic but happy as well!

I was just so amazed at this perfect little person that I had just given birth to!  She was wide eyed and just beautiful! It was just an amazing thing!

Well, this Valentine’s day my baby turned 20 years old, she is still amazing and has grown into a beautiful young woman and I thank God for her every day!  All the family got together to celebrate as we do and we had a wonderful time! She is truly my Valentine and will be for as long as I live!

I hope you all had a Valentine’s Day to remember, I did!

Grace

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Our excitement had been dampened but we get ready and head out after dh gets home from work.  My niece calls several times and says she is excited to see all of us so that spurs us on….  We arrive about 8PM we get unloaded and put our stuff where we will be sleeping.  We didn’t get to see dad over Christmas due to the weather so my youngest is handing Pop-pop all his presents and helping him open them.

He seems like he is handling it all OK at that moment enjoying the attention.  We had all eaten before we got there which was good and spent some time visiting although n1 and dhn2 were working and we for the most part just let them do that.

When I was catching up with n1 she said that Grandpa had been hovering over them since they set up their computers, originally they were working in the kitchen but since we were arriving they moved dhn2 downstairs to sleep and hooked up their computers downstairs as well with the hope to get some undisturbed work done.  My dad isn’t too computer savvy, he has one of his own he uses but doesn’t really get all that computers can do nor does he fully understand the internet and how it works so he was asking them lots of questions…..and they were having trouble getting stuff done.  That day, he had n1 go to the store with him, visit with his neighbor etc etc and she didn’t get sat down to work until 2PM!

She also told me when they arrived after traveling for 12 hours that Grandpa spent the first 1/2 hour with them telling them about how to throw the garbage out, not to put food down the sink, hovering over her while she was helping him in the kitchen, just weird stuff like that.  Well, I am used to that with him cos he is my dad but they weren’t……so I felt bad for them   Dhn2 just did not get the whole garbage thing…..I don’t either but I fake it well!

Friday dawns and we are hitting the Goodwill and going out to lunch; n1 says she is almost done with all she needs to do and to call her, she might join us.  Dad did not want to come as he is a bit unsteady and tires easily.  We called n1 as we were checking out at Goodwill and she was showered and done with her work and ready to come join us…..she told Grandpa and he just frowned, I think he thought we were pulling her away from her work.   She assured him she was in a great spot and ready to spend a little time with us.

After lunch we hit the mall and browsed around, we had tentatively made plans to order pizza or something for dinner before we left home and we weren’t really worried about it as we had a big lunch and we weren’t too hungry.  My dad usually has a glass of wine and chips and dip on a Friday but generally he is pretty routine with his meals and likes to eat on his time clock.  We called him and it was after 5PM and he wasn’t very happy, we weren’t home yet, no sign of dinner etc etc.  I hung up and we conferenced……so, we decided we’d order pizza and pick it up on the way home.   I called him back and he wasn’t up for that, he didn’t want to eat pizza and we could figure out our dinner ourselves.  He just was in a crazy mood.  I asked him why he was so upset and he just said everything was wrong and hadn’t I been watching the TV……..hmmmmmm……

Feeling quite awful, we ordered pizza and headed for home after n1 and our youngest got their hair done.  We got home about 6:45, not too terribly late for most people! Pizza and refreshments in hand we arrived and tried to be normal going in the house and it was as if he wasn’t nasty on the phone at all……just too strange!  We all hung out together for quite a while and he seemed generally OK, he wasn’t really talking to me at all though.  I was persona nongrata for the weekend anyway so I didn’t let it bother me.

Saturday dawned, we asked Grandpa if he’d like to join us and he declined and I figured he would, we were going to out and about all day and it would be just too much for him. We hit all the local sites, Pike Place Market, Seattle Center, Ivar’s and the waterfront, we even went up the Space Needle as the day had gone from gray and gloom to clear and beautiful. The view was spectacular and I was thrilled as 4 of the 7 of us had never gone up the needle before.

We checked in frequently with dad and that was good, he seemed in a better mood. He had even taken Sadie the dog (who wasn’t welcome!!) for a walk! After hitting Alki Beach and getting a quick coffee at Starbucks we called dad and said we would be coming home to make dinner which was great but caused much grumbling from dad as the stove got dirty (imagine that!) nothing a little elbow grease wouldn’t take care of.

The bottom line is we all managed to have a brilliant time without sending my father too over the edge. He just worries more about his “stuff” than enjoying the family that is around him. It makes everyone in my family very sad that he is like that and through it all we love him but he sure makes it difficult sometimes!!

I also talked to my older sis just yesterday and we both realized that last weeks phone call was us putting on dad’s stress…..so we are all good and that is great! Moral there is don’t let someone else’s stress become your own……we all have enough of our own at times to take on any more!

Till next time….

Grace

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My family is spread over the four corners of the US as most are and my niece and her hubby and family live in Kentucky, my sisters and the rest of their kids  live in Florida which is where we try and catch up with everyone…..but we have yet to get the trips coordinated so we can see everyone…..there is always someone missing or a whole family even!!

Well, with the news that they were coming my oldest daughter (d1) and I started figuring out when we could get over to dad’s to see them.  I waited a bit before calling my dad as he is 80 as I mentioned and these kind of things just put his panties in a twist.  My mom and dad have not been blessed with the gift of hospitality and since we lost my mom a little over 6 years ago, my dad is on his own and endures our visits at best and is glad when we head for home once again!

I knew they would be busy with work so I figured we head over Thurs night, spend Fri/Sat there and get up bright and early Sunday and head for home.  I called dad on Monday and let him know I was excited we were going to have company and could we come over as we hadn’t meet dhn2.  He seemed ok so far in the conversation, wanted to know when etc and I told him I would let him know for sure but that we were thinking of coming Thursday night.  I told him I would be getting someone to look after our dog but that d1 would probably be bringing hers as her puppy goes with her everywhere and she really didn’t have anyone to leave her with.  I knew it was going to be a house full but for us it really didn’t matter, we would make do, sleep where ever and just enjoy and be in the moment.

I had told my niece (n1) that I would call her on Tuesday to see how things were going and what their workload looked like etc.  But……before I had a chance to pick up the phone my oldest sister called and was very concerned about us going over etc that dad was all stressed out and could d1 find someone to look after her dog etc etc. and that n1 and dhn2 get into a groove with there work and have to get it done and can’t be bothered…..etc etc. I told her we would busy ourselves doing what we normally do and let them work and when they had time we would hang out.

She had evidently spoken to my dad the night before and he was all worked up about the dog and us coming blah, blah, blah.  I was a bit annoyed as I am not 12 and do know exactly how my dad gets and knew they had to work and just generally didn’t appreciate the input… I know she meant well, didn’t want my family and I to show up and have dad behaving badly and wonder what was up.  So, at this point I thought…..Jeez……should we even go?????????

So, I was just pissed quite frankly and it took me a while to cool down and finally call over to my dad’s that evening.  My dad was in a better mood and I simply asked if it was still ok if we come? Yes, he said, come ahead, we’ll get through it (doesn’t that sound inviting??!) but did we have to come Thurs night?? I said yes as we wanted to do some things on Friday and I would be less tired….etc etc.  I was quiet on the phone and said well, if you are sure then we will see you Thursday, and yes, d1 would probably have her dog but I would talk to her again about it.

I then spoke to n1 and she and dhn2 were planning on taking Friday night and all day Saturday off to hang out see the sights etc and were excited for us to come.

Well, this ends part one, this was just the planning part of it……I will expand more on the actual visit in part 2. (yes, it gets better….or worse or something!!)

My question is this? Is it just me or do any of you have these same kinds of difficulties???? I would love to hear!

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So, for you I will give you and idea of things on my mental list…….(yes, I know I am writing them here……today for you I will make the exception!!)

• making/keeping God in the center of my home and my marriage……(working on keeping God in the driver’s seat if you will, I have a terrible habit of taking over the wheel occasionally!)
• getting the house organized….(this is an ongoing one for me!!)
• getting in shape…..(my thirty year class reunion is this summer!)  ……I know, I am an old mommy   but I still feel 18 and that’s what counts!
• being a better mom, like most of us I do beat myself up pretty regularly and I’d like to do that less often
• I like to have projects on my list to……I am still formulating this one, I’d like to re-do the upstairs bathroom, maybe paint the living room/dining room, when spring comes do some things outside to make it more appealing
• going on a wonderful holiday or two this year……this is something my family really enjoys, I think we do holidays quite well as it goes……we really try to make the most of all we do and re-charge our batteries and hopefully spend some quality family time in the process….

I know some of the things on my list are pretty ordinary but I am a pretty down to earth person and the things I’d like to make better center around my family and my home and just trying to be the best me … whatever hat I may have on at any given time.

Let me know what your goals, resolutions or non-resolutions are…..I’d love to hear and maybe get some new ideas for my “mental list”

Cheers!

Grace

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