One thing I haven’t told you is I have been divorced and my two older children are from my first marriage, my oldest is a daughter…..she is almost 20 and while we have been through a lot over the last 10 years……I feel like we have come out the other side and we are closer and have a pretty great relationship.  I learned quickly when she hit 18 to step back a bit or I was going to get trampled   and I think that had helped us out a lot (If you are reading this honey, I love you soooo much!).  She is a blessing to me and a truly wonderful person (yes, I am the mom and I am allowed to think my kid is pretty cool!!)

Now, my son, he is 14 today and I am pleased to say we are all gathering together for the event as is our custom.  I get along quite well with my ex and his family and I am happy that we can share in our childrens’ lives peacefully and really have a pretty good time together.

The problem I am having is my son is  quite rude, moody,  and disrespectful just to name a few and I have tried lots of different things to figure him out.  Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments of being quite a likable human being but sometimes…….I just don’t know what to do!!!!!!  (when I feel like screaming!!!!)  There are times when I think he just doesn’t understand how to behave properly at all…….and then come the tears from me…..sigh!

He has a hard time keeping up with his grades unless his dad and I are on him fairly regularly.  His personality is very negative in that the first words out of his mouth as a toddler were….”no, no” and he hasn’t changed much since then. There are lots of times when we are trying to get him involved; doing fun things and he just isn’t interested and I don’t get it! I have encouraged him to go out for the wrestling team this year and he did!!! My hope is he will have a great time and enjoy it.  Every year since about the 5th grade he has done well in school until Christmas and then it falls apart.  I thought if he added a sport in the winter (he does football and baseball as well) then it might change it up enough that he’d stay on track with school ( I’ll let you know if it works!!)

He is really into gaming,  both on the internet and on the Xbox 360 (and yes they have both been taken away on numerous occasions!!)  I just wonder if it is just crappy parenting on our part or is it our changing society as well.  Believe me, I blame myself a lot for how he is, I know there are lots of things I could have  and should have done differently.  I know having divorced parents makes life difficult as well spending time in two households.

I spend a lot of time praying for him and my dh and I as well as my ex are constantly having conversation on this subject!  We wring our hands quite regularly in fact!  Like most parents out there we want good things for our kids and for them to kind and loving people that people enjoy being around…..I really hope this is just part of growing up for him that will pass with time (how’s that for avoiding that word “phase” )

So, my question(s) today are:  Are you out there struggling too?  If so, any solutions or breakthroughs?  Are you divorced and have some of the same challenges with your kids??

Thanks for listening…..I look forward to hearing from you!!

Grace

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